My Special Gift to My Girlfriend

Well, actually this is an ex-girlfirend now, but still, the story continues. My girlfriend was coming home from her weekend getaway in Vegas for her 30th birthday. Now it was my turn to try and match the time she had in Sin City with a birthday celebration of my own. I think the choice here was pretty obvious here, make her a candle lit buffalo chicken wing dinner.

So there I am in my limo to midway airport, on my way to pick her up. Oh yeah, ya boy pulled the limo card. I’m looking up the best homemade chicken wing recipes on my phone, and I land on a page that says they have the recipe to mimic Hooter’s wings. Seeing that my ex actually did enjoy going to Hooters with me (Yes, I know I screwed up) I thought this to be a good idea, plus I was very interested to see how close they would be to the real wing.

I go to the store and get all the necessary ingredients, including the special Hooter’s brand breading. I still haven’t told my girlfriend of our plans at this point. I take her to her room, her bed is made and ready, and her favorite movie is ready to play. I tell her to wait here and that I would come and get her when they surprise is ready.

I get the wings breaded and spiced, the grease is crackling. Here goes nothing. I plop them in a few at a time and begin making the buffalo sauce. The wings were actually smelling good. Only problem is I had 50 to make and mini $30 fryer could only make about 6 wings at a time. As time wore on, the spell began to make me sick. By the time I was done, I literally for the first time in my life was not looking forward to eating chicken wings.

Still, I carried on. I light the candles because I was dead ass serious about making this a candle-lit ordeal, and go up to her room wearing a full tuxedo and carrying her new dress. Yes, to all the girls reading this, I did actually try! I tell her to get dressed and come on down when she’s ready.

She comes down the steps and the smell almost knocks her out cold, in a good way. We had a good laugh and she was pleasantly surprised. Still though, at this point I was not hungry at all for these wings. How could this be?! My favorite food, hand crafted by me, and I wanted nothing to do with them. What do you do when you want nothing to do with chicken wings? You eat them.

They actually turned out well! Tasted nothing like Hooter’s, but she really enjoyed them! For me, it was the most miserable, delicious experience I could have. I forced down 10, and I’m still not sure which side won that battle.

How did we break up, you ask? Well, let’s just say a guy like me can’t keep a girl that likes her wings as hot as her. Probably because I say stuff like that.